The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer
by Christopher Scott
Summary: Sakura's a psychic, Naruto's a swordsman, and Sasuke is a wizard. Kakashi, meanwhile, is the unfortunate jounin assigned to train them. Get ready to see familiar personalities from these three. Can Konoha survive this trio? Please read and review.truly, Christopher Scott: A Gentleman Thief
1. Chapter 1

The Psychic, the Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 1

I don't own Naruto, X-Men, Zorro, or Harry Potter. They all belong to Masashi Kishimoto, Marvel Comics, Zorro Production Inc. (though their claim is disputed, and it is commonly accepted that Zorro falls under public domain due to the fact that The Curse of Capistrano, Zorro's first appearance ever was written in 1919), and J.K. Rowling, respectively.

Also, inspiration for this story came while reading the New Intros series of oneshots from Silent Magi's oneshot series "The Magi's Randomness". This will be an ongoing story.

Kakashi entered the room late, as was his habit, expecting for Naruto to have set up for some sort of prank like putting an eraser on the door. Not particularly concerned, he opened the door to be greeted, not by an eraser hitting his head but by a strange series of quick movements touching his outer mask with something small and metal. Not even bothering to look at his assailant, he closed his eyes in a cheerful manner and said, "Okay, so my first impression of you: I hate you all. Meet me on the roof in a few minutes."

With that, he used a simple shunshin to get to the roof, and pulled out a copy of Icha Icha to read while he waited. When they finally arrived on the roof, he was surprised at their appearances, to say the least.

Sakura Haruno, the pink-haired fangirl of Sasuke Uchiha, was dressed in green outfit that would have reminded him of Gai if not for the fact that it had golden sleeves and boots that went up to mid-thigh, a black collar that covered her neck, a golden sash with a golden bird-shaped piece of metal holding it in place while an identical, larger golden bird covered her chest. While it was a nice outfit, it was still impractical, even more so than Naruto's orange jumpsuit. Despite all his attention to detail, he had failed to notice that she was also floating a few inches off the ground.

Speaking of Naruto, he was dressed all in black, which would, of course, have been a pleasant change but he was dressed almost flamboyantly. His outfit covered all of his body, with long black pants, a long-sleeved black shirt, black gloves, black boots and, much to Kakashi's approval, a black mask covered the area around his eyes, though his mouth and nose, as well as his very noticeable whiskers were still uncovered. What concerned Kakashi was that he was also wearing a long black cape that could get caught on something in combat and a black hat with a broad brim that could allow him to be attacked from above. He was also wielding what looked like a sword that was too thin to be of use against a kunai yet had an ornate hilt. Where he got the black horse he was riding and why he was making different gestures to a nearby shadow clone, which was responded with its own gestures before heading off, Kakashi decided could wait until later.

Sasuke, meanwhile, was dressed in black robes with a small crest of a lion on a field cut into quarters of red and gold bearing the word Gryffindor on it on one side of the front and the Uchiha crest on the other. While that would impede movement, Kakashi knew from dealing with people in robes previously that it could be worked around. What disturbed him, however, was that Sasuke had a scar on his forehead in the shape of a lightning bolt and was holding a strangely polished and straight stick in his hand, as well as wearing glasses over his eyes, even though they were clearly plain glass. The broom he had floated in on would be discussed later, Kakashi decided.

"Well, since we're all here, why don't we start with introductions," Kakashi said, certain he was prepared for anything.

"Why don't you give us an example, sensei, so we know what to say," Sakura said, touching her hands to her temples, "Your name is Kakashi Hatake. Your likes are... You don't want to tell us your likes or dislikes. You seem to have no dreams for the future. You have lots of hobbies. How did you block me out?"

"I've spent quite a bit of time with Inoichi Yamanaka, so I learned to block out some attacks on my mind. Since you're so keen on sharing, though, you're up first, Pinky."

"My name is Sakura Haruno, though I am also know as the Phoenix," she said calmly, "I am a psychic mutant who can also perform telekinesis. My likes are training, Sasuke-kun, and using my abilities to their potential. My dislikes are Naruto, on occasion, Ino, evil mutants, those who abuse their power, other psychics who try to control me, and people who call others freaks because they can't understand or trust what they don't know. My dream for the future is to marry Sasuke and live in a world where I won't be judged by my possession of psychic powers. I must admit, there is a dark psychic presence inside of me. She is called the Dark Phoenix and is very dangerous."

"Alright, then," Kakashi said, feeling mildly concerned by the last bit, "You're up next, oh cloaked conductor."

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke began, "I am the last loyal Uchiha in Konoha, and Konoha's only wizard. After my brother betrayed our clan to a snake-like man, I decided to have my vengeance. However, while I wish for my brother to meet justice for his crimes, I am currently more concerned by the return of the snake-like man, who has repeatedly tried to kill me by this point. I don't have any particular likes or dislikes, but I dream of killing my brother and the snake-like man in order to avenge the deaths of my entire family."

"Okay," Kakashi said slowly, trying to figure out what Sasuke was talking about. He hadn't ever heard that Orochimaru was involved with the Uchiha massacre. Deciding to file that away to talk to the Hokage about later, as well as Sakura's multiple personality issues, he turned to Naruto and said, "And you, masked horseman?"

"I'm friend of the weak, and the poor and the meek. I am the cunning fox, Zorro!" Naruto shouted, pulling his blade out as he leapt of the horse and carved a Z in the door leading back downstairs. He then continued, "My likes are ramen, delivering justice to those who deserve it, defending those who cannot defend themselves, the Lady Hinata, my horse, Tornado, the fast horse alive, and battling tyranny and corruption, wherever it appears. My dislikes are tyranny, injustice, corruption, and the time it takes to heat ramen. My hobby is gardening, and practicing my swordsmanship. My dream is to create a world of peace and justice, in which I shall marry the Lady Hinata and become Hokage."

At this point, Kakashi was too exhausted to even bother trying to figure the three genin out. Deciding that he would definitely be speaking to Hokage, he said, "Alright, then. Meet me at Training Ground 7 at noon so I can give you a test as to whether you are going to be my team, or going back to the Academy to get the crazy beaten out of you. Oh, and don't eat. You'll only get sick."

With that, he used another shunshin to get out of sight and watched them leave. Sakura rose from the ground with a flaming aura around her, much to Kakashi's surprise, and took flight, heading back to her house. Sasuke then mounted the broom he rode in on and flew away back to the Uchiha compound. Naruto mounted his horse and they rode to the edge of the building, leaping into the air, leading Kakashi to suspect that all of his students could fly. Then, they landed on a nearby roof and continued, leaping from rooftop to rooftop before pausing in front of a setting sun. Naruto raised his thin sword high as his horse kicked it's front legs into the air. Then, they rode off again, vanishing into the sunset in the general direction of the Hyuuga compound.

"I am definitely going to speak to the Hokage," Kakashi decided. If he was lucky, the Professor would take pity on him. Bracing himself for an interesting conversation, Kakashi trudged to the Hokage Tower, getting ready to beg if he had to.


	2. Chapter 2

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 2

I do not own any of the intellectual properties used in the creation of this stories. Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, Marvel Comic owns X-Men, JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, and Zorro Production Inc. laughably claims to own Zorro, who is commonly considered to be public domain.

Kakashi burst into the Hokage Tower, ignoring all decorum, as well as the several people he shoved aside as he kept to his course. He arrived at the door of the office of one Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Professor, God of Shinobi, and Sandaime Hokage of Konoha. Paying no attention to the protesting assistant by said door, he shoved his way into the office and shouted, "Hokage-sama, I would like to ask for permission to eliminate the records keeper."

"Request denied," the Hokage responded, looking up at Kakashi, "On what grounds do you wish to kill him anyway, and why do you have a Z cut into your mask?"

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi continued, pulling down his outer mask and planning on some type of revenge on Naruto, revealing the next mask, "Upon meeting Team 7, I found that all records on Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Naruto Uzumaki are either out of date or completely fabricated. None of the profile photos are accurate either. Sakura refers to herself as the Phoenix and possesses psychic powers that are not specified and some sort of dark spirit inside of her, if she is to be believed, called Dark Phoenix. Sasuke seems to have a different memory of events that have occurred in his life than that of on the report, such as a claim that Orochimaru, alongside Itachi had executed the Uchiha clan. He also possesses some sort of polished stick, possibly a chakra directing weapon, as well as some sort of flying device in the shape of a broom. Naruto is calling himself Zorro and rides a horse, while wielding an overly thin sword. As such, I find that it is necessary to kill the records keeper in a very brutal way, in order to prevent his successor from making similar mistakes."

"I will not allow you to kill the records keeper," the Hokage said flatly, before thinking for a moment, asking, "Have you even entertained the thought that Naruto persuaded his teammates to pull an elaborate prank on you? Why don't you look for them individually and ask them about the matter?"

"It will be done, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said, hoping that it really was a prank. He doubted he could handle dealing with his potential team otherwise. Deciding that Sasuke, given his profile would be willing to tell Kakashi if this entire situation was an elaborate prank, given his blatantly serious nature, he headed to the Uchiha complex.

* * *

When he arrived, he found that Sasuke was still in that bizarre get-up, and was currently reading a book entitled Defense Against the Dark Arts, 3rd Edition. Cautiously, Kakashi got closer, and asked, "Sasuke, what are you doing?"

"I'm reading the required book, Professor Kakashi," Sasuke responded, looking directly at Kakashi, "Defense is my favorite subject, and I have to make sure that I won't be attacked by Dementors."

"Ah," Kakashi said as Sasuke returned to his reading.

He would have asked more, but Sasuke said, "I wonder where I can find a boggart?"

Kakashi didn't know what a boggart was, but, if Sasuke wanted it while holding up the pretense of being a 'wizard,' he doubted he wanted to find out. Subtly, Kakashi edged away before running quickly. Maybe Sakura would be more willing to divulge if it was a prank or not.

* * *

"Hello, Kakashi-sensei," the self-proclaimed psychic said, not turning to face him as she meditated. Kakashi mentally cursed. He thought he had kept well hidden in the tree and he had definitely cloaked his chakra signature. How could she have noticed him?

"Your mind wasn't blocked, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, still not turning around, "Others have made that mistake before."

Kakashi then decided to land in front of the girl, only to find her eyes were closed. Well, since he was here, he might as well ask if...

"This isn't an act, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, "I am the Phoenix, and the Dark Phoenix is lurking inside me."

With that, Kakashi leapt away without a sound. Maybe Naruto would be more forthcoming if it was a prank, as Kakashi began desperately hoping it was.

"He won't be, since it's not a prank, Kakashi-sensei," he heard her say before he got out of hearing range.

* * *

Kakashi knocked at Naruto's door in the abandoned apartment complex that he seemed to have turned into some sort of manor, hoping against hope that this potential student would be the one to tell him that this was some sort of impossibly large prank that they were playing on him. When the blonde opened it while dressed in his normal attire, Kakashi almost cried in relief before the blond wordlessly beckoned him to enter.

Naruto was seated in an armchair, still dressed in his normal style, but that meant that this was probably the shadow clone from earlier.

"Kakashi-sensei?" the seated Naruto asked, "Oh, this must be about how I didn't go to the assignment meeting. I'm sorry. You see, I got caught on a train of thought, but then, I found out that I missed my stop, and so I had to get off at the next station..."

"Just save it, Naruto," Kakashi said, feeling his sanity slipping already, "What was with the 'Zorro' thing you did earlier? Was it a prank or something?"

"Zorro?" Naruto asked, "Was he that handsome, whiskered masked swordsman who fights for justice? About my height, weight, build, and social caste?"

"Yes," Kakashi murmured as he stroked his temples, thinking that Naruto was going to try to play this out to the bitter end.

"I've never seen him," Naruto said, "I didn't think he was real."

"I know you're Zorro!" Kakashi shouted, finally reached the limit of his patience, "I saw you talking with the same shadow clone you have out right now earlier."

"Bernardo?" Naruto asked, "But Bernardo has been with me the whole time."

"Bernardo?" Kakashi repeated, "Who's Bernardo?"

"He's my servant," Naruto said with a wave of his hand, "He can't talk. He's a mute, but he's a very good servant, and he's completely faithful to me."

"What about the 'Lady Hinata' business?" Kakashi asked, hoping to find something to connect Naruto to Zorro in a way he couldn't possibly talk his way out of.

"Hinata?" Naruto asked, "What about her? I don't really get to deal with her that often. She's a good friend, though, believe it!"

With that final nail driven into his mental coffin, Kakashi decided to return to his own apartment and recuperate by reading Icha Icha.

"I wonder if anyone else has to deal with three psychos," he mused out loud.

Elsewhere, Asuma sneezed as he watched Chouji held Ino back from strangling the cloud-watching Shikamaru while still eating chips with one hand.

In another location, Kurenai sneezed as Kiba ran after the stick Hinata had thrown to entertain Akamaru while Shino stared at an ant colony that moved around the area.

In yet another location, Tenten sneezed as she ignored Neji's rant about Fate as well as Gai and Lee's "youthful hugging," during which they shouted each other's names.

Having decided that there wasn't, Kakashi then decided to just sleep it off and try his hardest to make the trio from hell fail legally when it came time for the bell test. What could possibly go wrong?


	3. Chapter 3

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 3

I still don't own any of the intellectual properties used for this story. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. X-Men belongs to Marvel Comics. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Zorro is widely considered public domain, but let's acknowledge Zorro Production Inc. for their embarrassing attempts to claim ownership over the character.

Kakashi woke up that morning feeling better than he had the day before. If his potential team was pulling a prank on him, surely they wouldn't let it continue for any more than a day. Even if it wasn't a prank, he was Copycat Kakashi, master of over 1,000 jutsu, and they were genin with bizarre delusions. Surely he could easily beat the crazy out of them during this test. If not, they would be sent back to the Academy and get it knocked out of them there. Yes, today was going to be a good day. He was sure of it.

* * *

His belief that it would be a good day took a bit of a hard blow to the solar plexus when he entered the training ground to find his potential team still in the same outfits they had worn during the introductions the day before, though the scar on Sasuke's head seemed to have moved from the center to a spot that was a bit more to the side. To make matters worse, they were getting ready to eat some apples that Sakura was staring at as they floated in the air while Naruto cut at them with the sword he had displayed the previous day and Sasuke pointed the stick at some kunai and transformed the kunai into plates, which the fruit then floated onto. Kakashi could only watch in horror as they consumed food. He was counting on them being even less capable than they could have been normally by not having food in their system, giving them nothing to convert into energy. Hopefully, they weren't capable of teamwork. Still, it wasn't like they would be capable of beating a jounin, teamwork or not.

"Alright," Kakashi said, entering the clearing as Sasuke restored the kunai to their natural state while Naruto sheathed his sword and Sakura turned to face him, "The test is that you will have to get these two bells from me before the alarm on this clock rings. Notice there are only two bells. Anyone who hasn't had a bell by the end of this test will be sent back to the Academy. Well, you better get started."

With that, to Kakashi's surprise, Sasuke picked up a cloth from the ground and vanished from sight, while Sakura flew off into the forest, leaving Naruto to face Kakashi alone. At least they didn't attempt to team up with each other. This could work to Kakashi's advantage.

Naruto seemed to be swinging the sword at him without any strategy, so it was easy for Kakashi to avoid each swing. Confident in his ability to evade Naruto, he pulled out one of his books from his kunai pouch. He hadn't yet finished Icha Icha Paradise, so why not finish it now?

It seemed that Naruto had a very precise answer to why to not finish it. As Kakashi got closer to the climax of the story, he suddenly saw a flash of metal in front of him, before he noticed a Z neatly sliced across both of the pages. Realizing that Naruto was actually a skilled combatant with his sword, he prepared to start using his ninjutsu, before he realized that the bells were missing. Looking at Naruto, he saw no bells, even though the strings that attached them to him were very cleanly cut.

Smirking, Naruto pointed to Kakashi's right and said, "You're looking at the wrong person, Copycat Kakashi!"

Looking to his right, Kakashi saw the bells floating to Sakura, who just emerged from the forest. Reaching for the bells, which were tantalizingly close, Kakashi gleefully admonished, "This would be more impressive, if Sasuke were involved. The object is teamwork among three people, and you failed!"

"Actually, Professor Kakashi," a voice responded from behind Kakashi, causing him to turn, "I've been behind you the whole time with my wand pointed directly at you. _Patrificus Totalus_."

Suddenly, Kakashi felt his limbs press against each other as he fell backwards.

"Now, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, grabbing the bells with her hand before tossing one to each of the boys, driving Kakashi to despair, "We have each had a bell, and all before the clock's alarm has gone off, and we managed to work together to get them from you, a jounin. So, we're officially a team. Now, when you declare us a team, you may refer to myself and Sasuke-kun by our given names, but Zorro must keep his name hidden. Therefore, you must call him Zorro when you recommend the team, or we will find you, paralyze you and remove your mask in public."

"Señorita, you are most gracious," Naruto said, "But surely there is a more honorable way of keeping him quiet. I personally can understand the need to wear a mask. To remove his would not be right. It would be dishonorable, to say the least. Perhaps burning all of his books of that series he seems to enjoy would suffice."

"Alright," Sakura responded, "We will burn all of those books and make you watch if you reveal Zorro's identity."

"What is Zorro's real name, anyway?" Sasuke pretended to ask, pulling off the cloth and becoming visible again, "It's a secret I doubt anyone knows the answer to."

"It is a secret I expect to be well-kept," Naruto replied, "Now, Sakura, does Copycat Kakashi agree to the terms?"

'They really don't know who he is?' Kakashi thought, 'More on that later. I guess I should probably agree. I don't want to have my collection destroyed.'

"He agrees," Sakura said, reading his mind before he could put his defenses up again, "Also, no, Kakashi-sensei, we don't know his real name, and neither do you. Am I understood?"

Kakashi nodded mentally, still unable to move when Sakura turned to Sasuke and said, "You can release him from the spell, now."

Sasuke pointed the stick, or as he called it wand, at Kakashi and said, "_Finite Incantatem_."

Kakashi soon found himself freed from the invisible binds that held him down. Knowing that he would have to report to the Hokage, he turned to his team and said, "You pass. Meet me at this training ground tomorrow. Until then, you're dismissed for the day."

With that out of the way, Kakashi mournfully trudged to the Hokage Tower to say that he was going to take up the monsters as a team in front of the others.

* * *

When he got there, Kakashi was surprised to find that he was the first one there. He was a bit more surprised when Maito Gai, his friend and self-proclaimed Eternal Rival, entered the room. He could have sworn that Gai already had a team.

"Kakashi, my Eternal Rival, I take it you have come to tell the others that you didn't pass yet another team," Gai said, seating himself across from Kakashi.

Too depressed and tired to pretend to ignore Gai, he said, "Worse. I actually found a team, and they're complete psychopaths."

"That is most unyouthful to say, Kakashi," Gai said, "Though, I have never heard you exaggerate before. Does that mean that I managed to get a better team than you?"

"Yes, Gai, so you can chalk the score up to 50 to 49, your favor," Kakashi admitted. He never really cared about the challenges Gai gave him, but he tended to amuse himself by keeping score. Just before Gai could say anything in response, however, a chuunin went up to the two of them and summoned Gai to complete some paperwork. Kakashi was alone for a few more minutes before Asuma and Kurenai entered the room and sat down.

"Did you two just finish a date?" Kakashi asked. Kurenai and Asuma's relationship was the worst kept secret in Konoha, so he enjoyed teasing them over it.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurenai said quickly, her cheeks turning red, "What about you, Asuma?"

"Nope, nothing," Asuma agreed a bit too enthusiastically, his usual cigarette strangely missing.

"So, which teams are going to pass?" the Hokage asked, entering the room.

"I, Asuma Sarutobi, hereby pass Shikamaru Nara, Ino Yamanaka, and Chouji Akimichi as Team 10," Asuma said, "I believe with guidance, they could surpass their own parents."

"I, Kurenai Yuhi, hereby pass Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga, and Kiba Inuzuka as Team 8," Kurenai said, "With proper training, this team could become the best trackers Konoha has ever seen."

The two other jounin in the room then sat, relaxed. Kakashi hadn't ever passed a team, so they figured that this one would be no different. Much to their surprise, however, he said, "I, Kakashi Hatake, hereby pass Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and... Zorro... as Team 7, due to surprisingly excellent displays of teamwork. May whatever Kami wishes to do so have mercy on us all."

"What?" Asuma exclaimed in surprise, "You're passing a team?"

"Yes," Kakashi replied.

"Wait," Kurenai said, "'Zorro'? That was what the mysterious masked horseman in black called himself before he cut a Z into Kiba's coat with an impossibly thin sword, then pulled Hinata onto his horse, placing her in front of him as he kept riding while we were having lunch. He then pulled out the thin sword and pointed it into the sky as a sunset appeared for a moment, before he rode out of sight."

"Yes, he seems to enjoy doing that trick," Kakashi said, having resigned himself to this fate, before remembering that Kurenai had met Naruto as himself previously, "Did he look like anyone you know?"

"No," Kurenai said, "There's no one in the village who looks like him, to my knowledge, but, then again, I couldn't see anything distinguishing other than his outfit."

"Alright," Kakashi said, deciding to call it a day, "If anyone needs me, I'm going to be at my happy place, I mean my apartment."

Despite himself, he wondered what his team was up to.

* * *

At the Uchiha complex, Sasuke was installing a Foe Glass in his room. It wouldn't do to not know how close one's enemies were. If he had learned anything at the Academy, it was 'Constant Vigilance', like Ibiki had said the day he came to lecture the students.

* * *

At her house, Sakura sat in her room, working to strengthen her telekinesis by trying to lift a dresser with lessening degrees of concentration. She would need to strengthen her powers if she wanted to contribute meaningfully.

* * *

Off in the forest, a black horse carrying a rider in black and a passenger in a grey coat was running, until its owner pulled the reins and said, "Tornado, dejar."

Upon hearing those words, Tornado stopped, allowing its master to dismount with the passenger in his arms. Once on the ground, Zorro released Hinata and set her down gently.

"Zorro-san," she said softly, "I have already told you, I only have room in my heart for Naruto-kun. I'm sorry, but he is the only one for me."

"Lady Hinata," Zorro said, "I apologize for all the mystery and for courting you in such a manner as this. My mask and hat, as I'm certain you've noticed, prevents even the Byakugan from seeing my face. I do this because, in my other life, I have many enemies. However, I will trust you with my greatest secret, as proof of my love and my faith in you."

"Didn't you hear me, Zorro-san? My heart belongs to Naruto-kun," Hinata protested meekly as he tossed his hat aside, revealing blonde hair going up in spikes. Her heart began to flutter as she pieced together who Zorro was as he untied the mask.

"Naruto-kun?" she asked, just as he revealed the rest of his face. Just as her mind caught up with her, she fainted from the revelation that the one she loved was in love with her and had been courting her all this time.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Kakashi's apartment, a silver-haired jounin couldn't help but feel he forgot something important. As he opened his copy of Icha Icha Paradise, he saw the pages he had previously been on had a Z carved into them.


	4. Chapter 4

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 4

I still don't own Naruto, the X-Men, Harry Potter, or Zorro. Each belongs to their respective owners, though, Zorro is public domain according to most people, but Zorro Production Inc. deserves mention for their attempts to license the character. Curse of Capistrano did not get its copyright renewed, and since that was the first story to ever feature Zorro, the character has legally been listed as public domain as of 1995. Fun fact: Zorro was the inspiration for Bob Kane and Bill Finger when they created Batman.

Kakashi woke up that morning filled with dread. He was going to have to meet the monsters for the first time as their official jounin sensei. Then again, whatever the worst could be probably happened. Surely things would be easier as time passed. With this positive mindset, he set out, preparing himself for what promised to be an interesting day.

When he arrived at the training ground, he was greeted with an interesting sight. Sasuke was making a feather float while pointing his wand at it. The last loyal Uchiha seemed intent on keeping the feather aloft using what he called his wand, and was ignoring his teammates for the most part. Sakura was sitting with her legs crossed, pointing at a tree that seemed to be struck by flaming bolts of...something. Naruto, or as Kakashi was now required to call him, Zorro seemed to be sitting in his horse, looking as if he was mentally flying high in the clouds for reasons Kakashi couldn't even begin to figure out.

As Kakashi began to approach the trio, Sakura said, "You're late, Kakashi-sensei."

Not even bothering to curse to himself, Kakashi simply walked into the clearing and shielded his mind as best he could.

"Sorry, I'm late," he said, not really sorry at all, "I saw a shiny dot floating around my head, first telling me to listen, then to follow it. As I followed it, I got further and further from the village until I was too far away to be on time for anything when I got back."

"I don't need to shatter your mental shield to know that you are lying, Kakashi-sensei," she added in a bored tone, "Do you really think that you can stop the Phoenix forever? One day, your guard will be down and... Sorry, Dark Phoenix started slipping out a bit. I've got it under control, now."

Kakashi felt a bit unnerved by that, and wondered whether he should send her to the psychiatrist nin. Before he could think about the subject further, he was interrupted by Sasuke lowering the wand, causing the feather to fall to the ground.

"Professor Kakashi, what are we doing today?" the self-proclaimed wizard asked, placing the wand in a pocket in his cloak.

"Well," Kakashi said, trying to decide what to do, "Why don't we go to the Hokage's office to see if he has any missions for us. Naruto! Get out of dreamland! We're heading to the Hokage's office."

"I apologize, Copycat Kakashi," Naruto said, that grin still on his face, "I showed the Lady Hinata my face without my mask and she accepted my courtship of her."

Kakashi could have sworn he heard some girls cursing in the bushes, but he must have been imagining things. Naruto as himself was the village pariah, and surely no one could believe that Zorro was a different person from Naruto. Kurenai had probably been messing with him when she said she didn't recognize him, right? Pushing that confusing aspect of his life aside, Kakashi led Team Seven to the Hokage Tower, hoping to not come across any of the other teams. Kurenai and Asuma might never let him live having this team down, and Gai would... Maybe Gai wouldn't do anything to drastic, but he just didn't want to find out just now.

* * *

As seemed to be a common theme in his life now that he had Team Mons... Seven, Kakashi found that things did not turn out how he wanted them to. Standing there, right outside of the Tower, was Team Ten, Team Eight, and Team Nine, better known as Team Gai.

"What are you all doing here?" Kakashi asked. He was the eternally late jounin, that was his thing, so Team Seven should have been the only team in the general vicinity of the Hokage Tower.

"Well, you didn't introduce your team to us," Kurenai smirked, reminding Kakashi of his new dream of getting far, far away from her.

"YOSH! I came to see the Team that my Eternal Rival had passed as well!" Gai said in his own imitable way, making Kakashi wonder yet again why this man was his closest living friend. Oh, right. Each was the only person their age that didn't make a big deal about the other's eccentricities.

"I would like to point out I was coerced into this," Asuma said, "Kurenai threatened me with taking away my cigarettes and... other things if my team and I didn't stay until you showed up and introduced them properly."

"Hey!" Kiba exclaimed, pointing at Naruto/Zorro, "You're the guy who cut up my jacket!"

"I apologize, Señor," Naruto said, "You appeared to have been bothering my beloved, the Lady Hinata, and so I reacted accordingly."

"As if you could even have a chance with her," Kiba snorted, trying to anger the other boy, "She's in love with Naruto, so you don't stand a chance."

"Actually, Kiba-kun," Hinata timidly said, very much aware of the crowd around them, "I have recently accepted Zorro-kun's courtship attempts."

"What?" Kiba asked, clearly very confused, "What about Naruto?"

"Interesting," Shino said, "It appears that Hinata has moved on with her crush on Naruto. Such an occurrence, while logical, is a surprising turn of events. However, I, being her friend and teammate will support her choice."

In response to Shino, one of the voices of reason of his class from what Kakashi had been told, not knowing that Zorro _**WAS**_ Naruto, Kakashi smacked his forehead with as much force as possible.

"It's Fate," Neji said in a controlled tone, "The user of a useless weapon for such a respected style of combat as kenjutsu falling in love with a useless fighter from such a respected clan is as simple as failure being drawn to failure."

A blur of black moved as Neji felt surgically precise cuts against his cheek. When the Hyuuga prodigy looked at his assailant, he was surprised to find Zorro off of his horse, glaring at him with red, feral eyes, blood on the tip of the thin sword he had previously had sheathed.

"That was a warning," Zorro explained, the red turning blue, "If I hear of you insulting the Lady Hinata again, boy, I will not be as kind."

Before Neji could respond, Tenten had gotten closer to the boy, inspecting the sword as she said, "You have a rapier? I thought that they were all melted down into different weapons when people started making larger swords, which would break them.."

"They were," Zorro responded, sheathing his weapon, "I had to make this one myself, though imbuing it with chakra during the forging seemed to make it stronger."

"Why not seals?" she asked, "Surely a good seal would work just as well, if not more so, given that the Swordsmen of the Mist have seals keeping their blades functioning."

"True, but that requires more chakra than necessary, not to mention that the sealwork would have to be on the blade itself, so I would have to work with tiny symbols," Zorro responded, "Also, I don't know enough about seals to feel safe making one so small."

"You have a good point there," Tenten agreed, "but..."

Kakashi, getting tired of this entire situation, interrupted, "We need to go get our mission, so Team Seven, come with me."

With that, Sakura, who had been glaring daggers at Ino Yamanaka, and Sasuke, who was, for some reason, talking rather amiably with Shikamaru Nara, headed towards him. Naruto, meanwhile, leapt back onto his horse and said, "Until we meet again, Lady Hinata."

The next thing Kakashi knew, Sasuke was on that broom he used when they first met, Sakura burst into flames and flew inside, and Naruto sped in on his horse. Not one to be outdone, he used shunshin to go, leaving a swirl of leaves in his place.

"That wasn't as fun as I thought it would be," Kurenai noted disappointedly, "Kakashi didn't even seem fazed by us being here. We'll try again later."

"Neji, my Eternal Rival, this 'Zorro' has cut an unyouthful Z into your face," Lee commented helpfully, "Would you like me to get some ointment?"

"Thank you, Lee," Neji said, a bit out of sorts from the unexpected attack, and therefore more polite than usual, "Some ointment would be nice. Tenten, would you mind sparring?"

"Actually, I'm going to see what I can find out about chakra infused weapons," Tenten commented, "It sounds like it could be useful to look into."

* * *

Kakashi made it to the Hokage's office only to find a purple haired kunoichi blocking the way, a stick of dango in her hand.

"You shall not pass," she said, standing firm, "No one is going in here for the next... ten minutes."

"You are arbitrarily preventing us from entering the room due to your lack of a desire to let us bother the Hokage," Sakura said, looking the kunoichi in the eyes, "We do not wish to bother him. You are also displeased by Kakashi-sensei having us arrive late, as you were just about to head out on break. There is another reason you are displeased with him, but I don't wish to press further into your mind without your permission."

"We won't keep the Headmaster busy for too long," Sasuke supplied helpfully, hopping off his broom, "We just need to get an assignment, as Professor Kakashi wants to not have to deal with us, as he seems to think of his time with us as suffering."

"I don't believe that you should have said that," Sakura said, "She wishes to make Kakashi-sensei to suffer. I can feel her elation at the idea of punishing him grow. Anko Mitarashi, what has our sensei done to displease you?"

"This isn't about the senbon, the rocks, and the red, tan, and green paint, is it?" Kakashi inquired, "Because, I already told you that was Gai's idea, and he was the one who did it."

"Nope," Anko said, her grin widening, "He was already punished for that. Guess again."

"The cardboard box, the rope, the stick, and the plate of dango?" he guessed, "Admittedly I shouldn't have trusted sensei when he sent me on a solo mission to catch Tora, but that wasn't my fault, and you couldn't possibly hold a grudge about that for so many years."

"Yes, I can," she smirked, as she opened the door a crack, "Hokage-sama, there are no more teams coming in today. And there he goes... Hey, pinkie, what am I thinking?"

"You seem to think revenge is a dish best served cold," Sakura said, "Also, you're going to tell Iruka-sensei that you've topped his long-term petty revenge plan from a few years back."

"I like her," Anko said, "though the Uchiha's outfit is a bit funny. Oh log! Kakashi, you didn't tell me you had a son!"

"What are you talking about, Anko?" Kakashi asked, very confused, "I've never had a son. I think I would know about it."

"Look at him," Anko said, pointing at Naruto, "He's clearly yours. He's got your thing for masks."

"Anko, he's not my son," Kakashi said flatly, "He's a practitioner of kenjutsu, he has a different skintone... and masks aren't genetic!"

"Señorita Mitarashi," Naruto intoned, "I must assure you that I am not the child of Copycat Kakashi, I am merely his student. My mask is to hide my identity in order to protect others from harm."

"Wait a minute," Anko said, "Aren't you that kid that keeps riding next to a sunset? A bunch of girls keep looking for you."

"And, as none of those girls are the Lady Hinata, you have not seen me," he responded, pulling out a bag of coins and tossing it to her, "Should we be heading out for our training for now, Copycat Kakashi?"

"Yes," Kakashi said in a defeated tone, "We're going to train. Meet me at the Training Ground we were just at."

In response, Sakura burst into flames and flew while Sasuke mounted his broom. Naruto, meanwhile, still seated on his horse, rode to the nearest window and leapt out of the tower.

"So, Kakashi," Anko said, her grin now sly, "I believe you were going to take me out for dango after I told Iruka I beat out his record."

"Why not?" Kakashi responded, not bothering to even try to tell his students he wasn't going to be there. Sakura would know anyway, and besides, it wasn't everyday that Kakashi would be able to relax. Not too relaxed, or Anko would drug him again, but just relaxed enough to forget his troubles. Things would improve. He was certain of it.

"Ah, Kakashi," the Hokage said, walking out of his office, proving Anko had deceived to the jounin, "I'm glad I caught you, actually. You see, there's only one assignment left for the day. Have you heard of Madam Shijimi's cat, Tora?"


	5. Chapter 5

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 5

Sorry to take a while to get this up. Hey, did anyone else guess Tobi's identity correctly? At any rate, a new character who was already introduced as someone else will be introduced this chapter. As for the disclaimer part of this: I don't own Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto, the X-Men created by Stan Lee and drawn by Jack Kirby, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling, or Zorro, originating from Curse of Capistrano and is now public domain despite Zorro Production Inc. attempting to claim all rights to the name and likeness. Fun Fact: Antonio Banderas was the first actor who was actually from Spain to play Zorro, while the character was a Spanish nobleman.

Kakashi arrived at Training Ground Seven after having narrowly escaped Anko's clutches with help from Iruka. Well, actually, he escaped by getting her to start chasing Iruka instead, but saying Iruka helped him eased Kakashi's guilt over leaving him to deal with her. To Kakashi's surprise, he found Sasuke seated next to a small cage, poring through several books labeled Practical Spells Third Edition while Sakura seemed to be flinging fireballs around aimlessly. Oddly enough, Kakashi saw that Naruto was chasing Tora with a whip while a large fire was consuming parts of the forest behind him.

'Zorro and I are currently distracting the target while Sasuke-kun is looking for a summoning spell to capture it,' a voice in Kakashi's head that sounded like Sakura said, 'Yes, I am talking to you telepathically. At any rate thus far, the target has managed to evade our distraction attacks, but we are directing it where we need to go. I am currently telling Naruto to bring the target closer to our location, as your presence could prove advantageous. Be ready for combat, Kakashi-sensei.'

The next thing Kakashi knew, he was being attacked by Tora while Naruto pulled out a set of bolas.

"Copycat Kakashi, move quickly!" the swordsman shouted as he let the weapon fly, inadvertently binding the struggling at to Kakashi's face with the strong cord.

"Got it!" Sasuke shouted, raising his wand, "Accio Tora!"

Much to Kakashi's relief, the monster was extricated from his face as it floated roughly into the grip of the Last Loyal Uchiha, who proceeded to place it in the small cage that was by his side.

"Stupefy!" Sasuke followed up, stunning the beast as Zorro... Naruto, Kakashi mentally corrected himself... reached into his cape and pulled out a bell on a cord, which he then handed to Sakura, who wrapped it around the cat's neck and tied it, effectively making the cat easier to track in the future.

"That went well," Sakura stated upon completing that task, "Your being here made things much easier, Kakashi-sensei."

"Indeed, Professor Kakashi," Sasuke agreed as he pointed his wand at the books, which transformed into shuriken and kunai, "I'm sure it would have been quite a bit more difficult for me if I hadn't been given the extra time that your battle with Tora provided."

"Should we return the cat to it's owner, Copycat Kakashi?" Naruto asked, putting away his whip as he eyed the captured cat sympathetically, "I've seen how the señora is with it before, and I must say, it would be a mercy to kill it."

"No," Kakashi said, pulling down his first and second mask and revealing his third due to the severe lacerations on the first and second, "We were hired to return Tora the cat to its owner so that's what we're going to do."

With that settled, Team Seven took Tora and returned the cat to Madam Shijimi and headed off to report to the Hokage.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Hokage Tower, Danzo Shimura found himself in an interesting position.

"And that is why I believe that my personal apprentice should work with Naruto Uzumaki," Danzo said, talking to his rival/friend Hiruzen Sarutobi. Danzo had noticed that, instead of the Uzumaki, a strange boy named Zorro had been placed on Team Seven, while the blond was left to his own devices while still being a genin. Someone needed to monitor him.

"Alright, Danzo," the Hokage sighed, "As long as I get to meet said apprentice."

"Come inside," Danzo said, opening the door. Entering the room was a pale boy in a black shirt that revealed his midriff, carrying a chalkboard in one hand and a scroll in the other hand.

"Who is this?" the Hokage asked, looking at the ROOT member that he had never seen before, despite the fact that he prided himself on knowing almost every person in the village, even those who didn't officially exist.

The boy placed his scroll in his pocket and began to write on the chalkboard. When he finished, he turned it around to show it to the Hokage, revealing the words 'I am called Sai.'

"Can he not speak?" he asked, turning to Danzo.

"Unfortunately, there's a seal on his tongue preventing him from doing so," Danzo said, telling part of the truth. The boy's inability to speak really was an accident, as the seal on his tongue was made improperly due to a simple twitch of a hand, preventing him from speaking at all. While this suited Danzo's purposes, it was an unintended boon.

"I see," the Hokage replied, looking the boy over carefully, "Well, I suppose it wouldn't do any harm to let the two boys meet at least."

"Hokage-sama, I'm sorry we're late but..." Kakashi said before cutting himself off upon noticing the meeting.

"Actually, I think your timing was impeccable," Danzo said, "I was about to leave on other business."

With that, the bandaged man left, his young charge in tow as they headed to the apartment building Naruto lived in.

"Team Seven, you're back earlier than anticipated," the Hokage commented, "I trust that you successfully managed to capture Tora?"

"We did sir," Kakashi said, handing him pictures to prove it, "A bell was also applied to the target in the form of a collar in order to make future attempts to find it be much easier."

"Very good," the Hokage replied, smiling at the quartet, "Now, Team Seven, go collect your payment and you are dismissed."

Once Team Seven left his office, the God of Shinobi chuckled to himself as he thought out loud, "So, Danzo doesn't know Zorro's real identity? That's actually pretty funny, though the ROOT he plans on introducing to Naruto might be problematic. I might have to intervene at some point."

* * *

When Zorro returned to the secret underground entrance of the converted basement of his apartment building turned manor that afternoon, he felt a harsh tap in between his shoulder blades as 'Bernardo's' memories flashed before his eyes, not revealing his assailant. Removing his costume and hanging it up, Naruto cautiously headed upstairs after feeding Tornado. Opening the door to the kitchen, he found a black haired boy about his age with a fake smile on his face dressed in black formal-wear in there, cooking.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, pulling out a kunai in case the boy proved hostile.

The boy reached for a chalkboard nearby and began to write on it quickly. When he turned it around to face Naruto, the blond read 'I am called Sai, though I have no real name. I have been ordered to work with you, though I do not know what that command entails. I am incapable of speaking due to unexpected circumstances, though I am capable of almost any task you set before me, including, but not limited to, combat.'

"Very well, Sai," Naruto said, a friendly smile on his face as he used the sign language he made for himself and 'Bernardo' while he spoke, "As you have no real name, I shall call you Bernardo in public. You will be my valet and confidante, and you will obey my instructions to the letter. Now, I would recommend you get ready to stay up for some time tonight, as I'm going to start teaching you a way to talk to me using hand signs so you don't have to carry that chalkboard around in order to communicate. By tomorrow, you should at least be able to spell out any message you want. If you want to talk to other people at any point in time, I will be your interpreter from this point onward."

Although Naruto didn't know it, with that statement he had already won the undying loyalty of his newly employed Bernardo.


	6. Chapter 6

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 6

Sorry to take so long to update. I'll try to get the next chapter up more quickly next month. As you all know, I don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), X-Men (Marvel Comics/20th Century Fox), Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling/Warner Bros. and probably their sister Dot, too), or Zorro (a Public Domain Character, despite Zorro Production Inc. continuously claiming otherwise). And here's where things get further and further from canon, starting with this mission. Try to guess the Marauders for this Map.

"Very good, Sai," Naruto said encouragingly as the pale boy showed the entire alphabet in the sign language the blond had taught to him, "Now, when we come back, we're going to practice on the words I taught you."

Sai nodded enthusiastically as he helped Naruto gather his effects that made up the Zorro outfit. How Danzo and everyone else in the village, with the exception of Sai himself, Naruto's beloved Hinata Hyuuga, and Naruto's teammates, managed to not be able to know his identity was a subject of curiosity for the pale boy, but he didn't particularly feel like thinking too hard on the matter for the sake of what he regarded as his sanity. At any rate, he was Naruto's valet, so he was not going to tell anyone that Naruto was Zorro. A good valet was discreet, after all, and Naruto had given him the ability to speak to others without his board and chalk, meaning he could carry his paint and scrolls wherever he wanted to go with ease. Because of this gift he felt he owed the blond his loyalty.

* * *

When Kakashi got to the training ground, he had become so numbed to each student's particular brand of insanity that he was completely unsurprised to see his now less disturbing students going about their usual business. Sakura was peacefully meditating, and greeted him without opening her eyes, Sasuke was reading the Defense books he read every time Kakashi saw him studying, only pausing to give Kakashi a nod to indicate that he noticed his presence, and Naruto was standing by his horse, talking in his sign language with a pale boy dressed like a butler... And with that, Kakashi decided that he would never doubt his students' ability to surprise him again. Turning to face Naruto, Kakashi asked, "N... Zorro, who is this?"

"Ah, this is Bernardo," the swordsman replied, "He is a friend of mine, Copycat Kakashi."

"But I thought that Bernardo was blond and dressed in orange," Kakashi said, recalling that the previous 'Bernardo' was a simple Shadow Clone.

"Where did you get that impression, Copycat Kakashi?" Naruto inquired, smiling cheerfully at the silver haired jounin, "Bernardo has always been Bernardo."

"I believe he is telling the truth," Sakura said, blatantly lying while Sasuke nodded in agreement to help her lie.

"Fine," Kakashi grumbled, deciding to not meddle in the affairs of the insane before continuing, "Well, kids, we've got a mission. It turns out that there's a big black dog with red eyes wandering Konoha for reasons unknown. Our mission is a simple one: We clean up the mess it made and then catch it by following any trail of destruction that comes with it. Now let's move out."

Kakashi walked off, intent on leading the group to deal with the mess. At least as long as it was a dog, they couldn't pull a Tora on him. Dogs liked him.

As the only Sharingan user in Konoha headed off, Naruto sent Sai off to buy groceries for the apartment turned manor before mounting Tornado and heading in a completely direction from where Kakashi was going, following his teammates as Sasuke pulled out a blank piece of parchment, finding it a safe bet that Kakashi would not find the source of the problem automatically, like Sasuke's map would.

* * *

"So, you want to play it like that, huh?" Kiba asked the newcomer to the training ground, "very well. Akamaru, stay back. I'm dealing with this one myself."

With that, Kiba leapt to battle his cruel and evil enemy. In response to the boy's challenge, the black dog moved a bit to the left of his charge, causing the Inuzuka to ram into a tree, which somehow failed to render him unconscious. As Kiba once again charged at the strange dog that had stolen his squeaky toy, yet strangely left Akamaru's fang cleaning bone alone, said dog evaded him yet again with a simple movement, leading to another collision with a tree. As he prepared himself for another blind charge, Hinata, Shino, and Akamaru walked away from this rather depressing in shame for Kiba as they waited for their sensei.

* * *

"That's a name you don't see in this village everyday," Sakura said as the trio looked at the enchanted map in Sasuke's hand.

"It's a name that shouldn't be here at all," Sasuke corrected, gripping his wand tightly, "He should have been taken up by Anbu the instant he got here."

"His is not the only name that makes no sense," Naruto said, pointing at another name on the map, "Obito Uchiha is the name of Copycat Kakashi's long dead teammate. Perhaps the map is broken. Also, the Inuzuka boy wouldn't be moving at all if your brother was in close proximity to him, let alone continuously ramming into trees. I credit the boy with more intelligence than that."

"It's never been wrong before," Sasuke commented, "Maybe there's more to the story then we believe there to be."

"Whatever the case," Sakura commented, "the question is should we ignore the map for the time being, as it is not showing us where the dog is, or just start the search around the village. I say we look into the impossible names on the map later. Just because these map makers haven't failed you before doesn't mean that you should believe it will always work properly. Perhaps there is some sort of limit to the frequency you use it with."

"You may be right," Sasuke admitted, holding his wand over the Marauder's Map, "I suppose we should go deal with our mission before examining the Map again. Mischief Managed."

"I believe that the dog should be easy to find if we look at what it has done, so perhaps we should start at the village gate," Naruto agreed, leaping onto Tornado as Sasuke mounted his broom and Sakura began levitating. Prepared for what they believed would be a relatively simple mission, the trio sped off, not knowing what sort of adventure they were about to have.


	7. Chapter 7

The Psychic, The Swordsman and The Sorcerer

Chapter 7

I do not own Naruto, which belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I do not own X-Men, which belong to Marvel Comics and Twentieth Century Fox. I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. (and probably their sister Dot). I do not own Zorro, which belongs to the Public, despite Zorro Production Inc. claiming otherwise. Fun Fact: Of all of these characters, Zorro has seniority, having first come out in 1919 in the story The Curse of Capistrano. Oh, and the Lone Ranger reference was unavoidable.

The trio headed as quickly as they could to the gate, until they saw the paw prints on the ground.

"These aren't ordinary prints," Sakura commented, "Look at the size. An average black dog has smaller paws and doesn't put as much pressure in the ground."

"Perhaps this is no ordinary dog..." Naruto commented, leaping off Tornado to get a better view, "They are spaced tighter than paw prints of this size should be and the upturned soil is somewhat fresher than the ones we first followed, implying that it moved in reverse. Sasuke, is there any creature that you know of that has a canine's shape and a human's intelligence?"

"The only thing that comes to mind is an Animagus," Sasuke replied, reaching for his wand, "If there's one here, we could be in danger."

"What is an Animagus?" Naruto asked, looking at the wizard in confusion.

"It's a wizard who can transform into a specific animal," Sakura explained, plucking the information from Sasuke's head, "Basically, that means that there's a wizard disguised as a dog wandering through the village."

"Wait," Naruto said, "Sasuke, you told us that your clan was made of wizards. Didn't your Map say that your brother was in the village?"

"Yes, but..." Sasuke paused, "Let me get it out again."

Sasuke took the Marauder's Map out again and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The blank parchment once more sprang to life, and showed the dot labeled Itachi Uchiha, following the dot labeled Obito Uchiha at a quick pace, getting close to overtaking him.

"Well," Sakura said plainly, looking at the Map carefully, "It seems that we don't need to track them down. The two of them are headed our way."

"If the two of them are here," the masked boy replied, taking out his sword, "We will need to question them carefully."

"Indeed," Sakura said, as the dog burst into the grassy field.

"Show yourself, Itachi," Sasuke commanded as they circled the dog. Wit that, the dog transformed into a man dressed in fully equipped but very torn Anbu uniform, who looked like he hadn't seen civilization for years.

"Hello, little brother," the man said, facing Sasuke, "As much as I would enjoy talking to you, I have a rat to kill."

"What are you doing in Konoha?" Naruto asked, keeping his sword trained on Itachi.

"I'm here to avenge my clan against the person who betrayed it," Itachi answered, maintaining his calm.

"You believe that Obito Uchiha is alive and betrayed your clan..." Sakura said, reading his mind.

"That's impossible," Sasuke commented, not believing him in the slightest, "Obito Uchiha had been years dead long before the massacre."

"The Map did mention him," Naruto remarked, still not lowering his sword.

"The Map must have been wrong," Sasuke replied, his mind reeling from the possibility of his brother being innocent.

"The Map is never wrong," a feminine voice responded from behind Sakura. All but said psychic turned to see Hana Inuzuka and her three large canine companions enter, a rat in the mouth of one.

"Hana," Itachi commented, "You're looking well."

"I wish I could say the same thing, Itachi," Hana said, "You look like a bear walking on its hind legs and smell worse than that."

"What's going on here?" Sasuke asked, still trying to piece together the situation as best he could.

"Well, you see, for reasons we can't understand, Obito decided to kill the clan alongside Orochimaru, and framed your brother for it," Hana said, "Ignoring the fact that he should have be dead long before that day and that he was widely praised as one of the most loyal people to ever become a shinobi, he was an Animagus himself, taking the form of a rat. A rat that we currently have right here."

"May I?" Itachi asked, gesturing for Sasuke's wand. Sasuke, seeing Sakura nod decisively in response, nervously handed it to his brother, hoping that he hadn't made a terrible mistake.

Wand in hand, Itachi turned to the dog with the rat in its mouth, which proceeded to drop the grey vermin to the ground with enough force to stun it while Itachi blasted it with a wordless spell. Upon being struck, the rodent transformed into a black haired man with an orange mask on his face.

"Hello," the man said, "I'm Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Are you now?" Sakura asked, invading his mind, "Because it seems here that you are Obito Uchiha, though you are a tad insane, and you killed the entire Uchiha clan."

"Well, I'm afraid my charade has been broken," Obito said, reaching into his pocket, "As such, I really must be going."

With that, he anticlimactically threw a container on the ground, covering the area with complete darkness. When the darkness cleared, he was gone.

"Where did he go?" Sasuke asked, hoping that someone knew the answer to his question. His vengeance was so close, and he had missed it.

"I couldn't get a good reading," Sakura said, "He got away."

"Damn it!" Itachi screamed, breaking his usual calm, "Years of chasing him ruined! I was so close!"

"You might want to change back to your animal form," Sakura stated, taking the wand from him and handing it back to Sasuke, "I can feel Kakashi-sensei coming closer. Zorro, would you mind distracting him for the moment."

"I will keep him idle for as long as I can," the whiskered blond replied, mounting Tornado and replacing his sword with his whip, "Tornado, vamos!"

"Who was that masked boy, anyway?" Itachi asked, unaware of the changes in Konoha that occurred while he was gone.

"That was my teammate, Zorro," Sasuke responded, "He's the greatest living swordsman in Konoha."

"Ah," the older Uchiha said as Kakashi's shouts of pain filled the forest, "I should transform now."

With that, Itachi turned into a black dog once again, right as Kakashi burst into the field with several lashes on his arms. He was shortly followed by Naruto, who said, "Forgive me, Copycat Kakashi, I was certain that you were the dog."

"Don't worry about the dog, Zorro," Sakura said, "We got Hana Inuzuka to help us with getting the dog. Also, it seems to have bonded with Sasuke, so we agreed to let him keep it."

"But not before Padfoot gets his shots," Hana said with a smirk on her face at the looks said dog gave her. That would teach him to go off without even giving her a letter.

Kakashi just nodded and led his team to the Hokage Tower to receive their pay. He was sure he was missing something here, but he didn't care what it was. All he knew was that he was definitely going to ask the Hokage for a simple C Rank mission for his team that would take them out of the village. Maybe some time out of the village would make them slightly more manageable. Satisfied with his plan, he led them with a renewed vigor. After all, C Ranks were easy to do, and nothing could possibly go wrong with such a mission, could it?


	8. Chapter 8

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 8

I still don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), X-Men (Marvel Comics), Zorro (public domain despite what Zorro Production Inc. claims), or Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling). All I can claim is the plot of this story. And now we end the month with the update of this story. Fun Fact: Bob Anderson, the man who basically created the sword style of every movie, including The Mask of Zorro (for which he trained Anthony Hopkins and Antonio Banderas), played Darth Vader during all the lightsaber battles in the original Star Wars trilogy, which George Lucas didn't even credit him for. The fight in the next chapter will be much more satisfying than the one in this chapter.

Kakashi was thrilled. The Hokage had said that they could take the latest C Rank, which was escorting a drunk bridge-builder to Wave so that he could get home safely without dealing with bandits. There was nothing that could possibly change the rank to something higher. As he packed his bag, Kakashi felt that things were finally looking up.

Sakura was idly packing her bag as she contemplated how many lies were in the drunk's mission request. First, bandits were the least of his worries. Second, there was a tyrant that was trying to make him stop building the bridge because it would hurt his profits. Third, there were probably other ninjas and samurai waiting for him to come back so that they could kill him. Deciding that she would get more amusement if they went rather than if they stayed, Sakura chose not to say a word of what was really going on.

Itachi was very pleased. Sasuke was going on a mission, so he would be able to leave the village and spend some time with his brother, albeit all while trying to avoid Kakashi. Even better, in his opinion, was that he could avoid Hana until she calmed down. As he followed Sasuke, the leash that Sasuke had been ordered to keep him on clinging to his collar, he noticed that the path his little brother was going down didn't lead to the gate, though Itachi knew the path almost as well. As Itachi tried to break free, Sasuke continued on his path, dragging him to the place he dreaded. Once they arrived at their destination, Sasuke handed the leash to a sadistically grinning Hana and turned to leave. Before he left, though, he said, "Hana's not the only one mad about the lack of letters. You could've told me."

Itachi would be spending the next few days learning exactly why correspondence was a necessity when a person planned on being gone for a long time.

As Naruto and Sai packed the supplies he would need to be Zorro outside of the village, Naruto summoned a shadow clone to stay here and continue being Naruto Uzumaki in his stead. Turning to Sai, he said, "Well, my friend, I'm heading out of the village for a few days. Make sure that you and the clone keep up with your lessons."

In response, he got a nod as the last of the items were packed. Once they were done packing, Naruto nodded his farewell and went to the underground lair. He then put on his uniform and became Zorro once more as he leapt onto Tornado and rode out into the village to meet with his teammates at the gate.

* * *

When Kakashi arrived to find the client keeping his distance from his... special students, he found himself deciding that he would pretend that the client was just showing common sense. Who would want to get close to them?

"Well, I don't have a problem being close to Sasuke-kun," Sakura quipped, having clearly read his mind. By this point, he doubted that anything they did would shock him, so he let it go.

"Alright, team" Kakashi said, "Move out."

Rather than follow his orders, the group turned to face one another. It was Sasuke who broke the silence as he said, "Sakura, is it clear to go?"

"Yes it is, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, "There's no enemy around for quite some distance. Let's move."

With that, her two fellow genin began to head out, as Sasuke grabbed the client by his arms and dragged him out the gate, Kakashi following behind the group sullenly. They were his students and he was barely paid any attention. Still, what exactly could he teach them? Sakura and Sasuke could fly, and Zorro/Naruto was practically able to fly due to the miraculous abilities of his horse. Maybe if he worked with their stealth training... His mind made up, Kakashi perked up slightly, ignoring the fact that making his students be able to be stealthy might not be a good idea and the fact that Naruto had been evading Anbu since the age of 4.

* * *

Kakashi was enjoying the peacefulness as he lead in the front of the group when he suddenly noticed two puddles up ahead, despite there not having been rain in the area for weeks. That could only mean enemy shinobi. This would give him the chance to test his students' skill levels.

'Zorro, Sasuke, in the puddles in front of us are two missing nin known as the Demon Brothers, who are currently working for Zabuza Momochi, better known as the Demon of the Mist, wielder of the Kubikiri Houcho, one of the fabled Seven Swords, who is currently working for the corrupt businessman Gato, who wants our client dead,' Sakura said telepathically, her hands at her temples, with only her two teammates able to hear her, 'Although he doesn't know who it is, Kakashi-sensei intends on using this as an opportunity to observe our abilities. Any plans?'

"Well, I have one," Sasuke muttered as Sakura caught a view of it. Finding it a fairly practical plan, Sakura agreed before showing it to Zorro.

"But I wouldn't be able to do anything," the masked swordsman complained under his breath, "I don't want to be thought of as useless."

'If you go with this plan, we'll let you fight Zabuza on your own,' Sakura offered, prompting a nod from Sasuke to show his agreement with that aspect of the plan.

"Alright, do your thing," Zorro agreed, slowing Tornado so that his teammates would be in the front while the client walked beside him. Smirking, Zorro pulled the man onto his horse and prepared to watch the battle that was about to ensue.

As the Demon Brothers revealed themselves, Kakashi prepared to use the replacement technique to fake his death and watch his students sort out the mess. He was therefore surprised when Sasuke and Sakura shoved their way past him. As the Brothers attempted to leap at the pair, Sakura tossed a large fireball at one, while Sasuke held up his wand and shouted "Expelliarmus!"

The effect from each attack was instantly apparent, as one of the brothers had wound up with horrible burns and the other was blasted back into a tree, resulting in a sickening cracking sound. With that that out of the way, Kakashi stopped as his students moved forward, grabbing Tazuna and interrogating, "Why are there missing nin after you?"

"Because Gato, a powerful businessman, does not want Wave to have a bridge, as that would break the monopoly he has on everything in the village, as a bridge to the mainland would allow goods to arrive without needing a boat," Sakura said simply as the trio turned around, "He hired missing nin to kill Tazuna."

"Mission Fraud is grounds for canceling a mission," Kakashi remarked, turning to face his students, "Do you think we should continue."

Being met with three affirmative responses, Kakashi turned to Tazuna and said, "We'll keep going, but you have to tell us everything. Actually, Sakura, tell me if he's hiding anything else. You, I trust. With Tazuna, I'm still deciding."

"He's not hiding anything else," Sakura said, "Now, come on, we have something resembling a schedule to keep."


	9. Chapter 9

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 9

I still don't own Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto, Marvel Comics' The X-Men, J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter, or the public domain figure Zorro, who Zorro Production Inc. humorously attempts to claim ownership of. And here's the Zabuza vs Zorro/Naruto fight that was foreshadowed last chapter. I find it important to note that there's no proof in the series that Water Clones give their creator their memories, unlike Shadow Clones, which is directly stated to do just that. On a marginally related note, hidden in this chapter is an explanation for how Naruto/Zorro is able to use his sword so effectively. Fun Fact: The Phoenix aspect of Jean Grey leveled San Francisco at one point in the Dark Phoenix Saga.

The group continued on their path, Kakashi and Tazuna blissfully unaware of what was coming. The procession continued in silence until Sakura's voice suddenly mentally said to her two teammates, 'Zabuza Momochi's coming. Sasuke, Zorro, assume the positions. He's going to lead by throwing his sword as a diversion before he makes his introduction.'

"Throwing a sword?" Zorro muttered gleefully, "This will be fun."

As the gargantuan sword suddenly appeared, flying toward the group, Sasuke ducked down, pointing his wand at Kakashi and the client, and said, "Petrificus Totalus. Petrificus Totalus."

With that done, the pair became stiff as boards and crashed to the ground as Zorro leapt off of Tornado and struck the sword back with his whip.

"You call that a sword?" Zorro asked as the owner arrived, the giant sword once more in the missing nin's hand, "That is a knife. A large, ugly knife."

"And you think that needle on your hip is a sword?" Zabuza retorted as the masked swordsman removed his cape as he drew his sword and tossed his whip aside.

"Better a needle in the hands of a swordsman than a knife in the hands of a butcher," Zorro quipped, tossing his sheath where his whip had landed, "To death or surrender, with no jutsus?"

"Do you really think it's a good idea to cross blades with a Swordsman of the Mist, jutsus or not?" Zabuza asked, preparing for the battle.

"If you were one of the best, then I don't believe that I have to worry," Zorro responded, getting into his own stance.

"Your funeral," Zabuza responded, charging at the swordsman, planning on making short work of him with a simple lunge.

Batting the attack to the left quickly, Zorro smirked and said, "Or perhaps your own."

To Zabuza's surprise, his masked opponent's flimsy blade held up against the force and moment he put behind the blade. He didn't have time to think about it, as Zorro was already meeting with a counterstrike, nearly striking Zabuza's right flank. It was only the fact that he was still as quick as he ever was that prevented the missing nin from sporting a gash hole in his side. Whoever the kid was, Zabuza privately had to admit that he was pretty good for his age. Still, he had years of experience on the boy, so this would be quick. After all, there was no way that he'd learned a method that could give a person years of experience in as short a time as the boy was apparently alive, if he was going by his appearance.

The boy continued with a lunge for his head, which proved to be a feint for an attack that was likely intended to disembowel him. Zabuza countered by performing a glide, which, given the size differential between their blades would have decapitated Zorro while leaving Zabuza unharmed had the younger swordsman bent over backwards, moving under the blade as he attempted to stab Zabuza in the leg. The older swordsman leapt back and turned his blade so that the sharpened edge was ready to bisect the younger swordsman, who rolled away and rose to his feet quickly as the Kubikiri Houcho came crashing down on the space he formerly occupied.

As Zabuza once again lifted the massive weapon in his hand, Zorro was already closing the distance, moving to strike Zabuza's throat with a slash. Zabuza countered by striking the blade aside, only for the younger swordsman to redouble with a lunge that Zabuza had to duck to avoid. The older swordsman then passed back in order to gain enough distance to lunge himself. His lunge was parried and he once again moved to avoid another attempted cut.

While Zabuza was honestly impressed with his opponent's skill for someone of his age, being able to battle him and last as long as he had was no mean feat, he knew that the boy couldn't possibly beat him, as he was still too young to truly understand combat with swords.

"Do you really think that you can beat me?" Zabuza asked curiously as he swung his blade for his opponent's midsection, "I have years of training on you, and I'm a former member of Anbu."

"I've been able to evade Anbu since I was four," Zorro remarked cheerfully as he leapt onto the Kubikiri Houcho and lunged for the missing nin, "Are you certain that you can beat me as easily as you originally suspected, Zabuza Momochi?"

Flicking his sword upward to knock his opponent into the air, Zabuza said, "You're still just a kid."

As Zorro spun through the air to land a few feet in front of Zabuza, he smirked and commented, "I apologize for not being what you expect from an opponent, _Mizukage-sama_. Oh, wait..."

With that, Zabuza lost the calm that he'd had when dealing with his opponent, giving the younger swordsman the advantage. The first strike when he charged was easily repelled due to the chakra in the thinner blade being constantly replenished. As a result, the smaller blade didn't receive a scratch as Zorro deflected the massive sword before getting a quick cut along Zabuza's left shoulder, drawing first blood.

Zorro continued by pushing on the offensive, the smile not leaving his face while Zabuza began defending himself, remembering that he was in the middle of a battle. When the younger swordsman got close enough, he swung his sword in an attempt to decapitate his opponent.

Yet again, the younger swordsman ducked and pressed the sword against the missing nin's chest with enough force to draw blood, his tone no longer friendly as he said, "Yield or die."

Suddenly, to Zorro's surprise, a needle shot out from the bushes and struck Zabuza in the side of his neck, causing the missing nin to collapse, falling away from the blade against his chest.

"Thank you for helping me capture him, Swordsman-san," a masked hunter nin said as Kakashi and Tazuna were unfrozen by a quick spell by Sasuke, "I've been on his trail for some time now."

"I wish you had waited longer," Zorro responded, pressing the tip of his sword against Zabuza's cheek, "but I suppose there is nothing for it."

"What are you doing?" the hunter nin asked in a shocked tone as Zorro marked the body.

"While he was killed by you too soon, I managed to best him in the duel," he explained, quickly slashing his Z into the cheek, "I believe this is only proper."

"Well, I suppose I'll take the corpse and dispose of it privately,"the masked hunter nin said, as the group once more began traveling, "Farewell."

"Goodbye, Tool-san," Sakura said, grinning at the masked hunter nin, identifying her awareness of what the masked hunter nin's true purpose was. As she informed her teammates of the matter, Sakura grinned. This mission just kept getting more interesting as it progressed. She was looking forward to what was to come.


	10. Chapter 10

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 10

Sorry this chapter's late. I don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling), X-Men (Marvel Comics), or Zorro (public domain, despite what Zorro Production Inc. likes to claim). Next chapter has the scene with Naruto and Haku, as that scene still needs quite a bit of tweaking to make it as good as I can make it. Fun Fact: The proper name of the first Harry Potter book is Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, a title that definitely makes more sense, given that the Philosopher's Stone was an actual item searched for by pretty much every single alchemist in the world, including the real life Nicholas Flamel.

"Alright, boys, here we are," Sakura said to the only two teammates she actually cared about, entering the bridge builder's house before Tazuna could even reach the door.

"Who are you?" a woman asked as everyone except Zorro entered the building.

"We're the team he hired to protect him," Kakashi responded as his student who was still outside handed the reins of his horse to a clone, who left to tie it off somewhere, "I'm Kakashi Hatake, and these are my subordinates. The pink-haired colorful girl is Sakura Haruno. The one in the dress with the piece of wood is Sasuke Uchiha, and the one in black is Zorro."

"Are you ninjas?" she asked curiously, looking at the group, "I didn't know that ninjas had family members on their teams."

"Yes I am," Kakashi said, "I'm not sure what the other three are. Sakura calls herself a Phoenix, Sasuke calls himself a Wizard, and Zorro... Well, actually, I think he could actually be called a ninja, come to think of it. Anyway, what did you mean about family members on teams?"

"Well, you and your son are part of the same team..." she remarked, looking between Kakashi and his student.

"Why do people keep thinking he's my son?" he thought aloud.

"Well, you do both wear masks..." she responded, "Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter. My son Inari is around here somewhere, but he probably won't be very friendly with you."

Shaking his head to prevent himself from thinking on people's bizarre way of forming theories about him, despite evidence to the contrary, he followed his team to the guest room.

When they entered, Sakura pointed at the door, which promptly shut while Zorro drew the curtains closed and Sasuke held up his wand and said, "Muffliato. Okay, now we can talk freely. What did you need to talk about, Professor Kakashi?"

"Zabuza's alive," he responded quickly, "You're going to need severe training if we're going to beat him and his accomplice, who was the fake hunter nin."

"We know that already, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said as if talking to a child, "Is there anything else?"

"You can't just do whatever you did to paralyze me in a combat situation!" he said harshly.

"Fair enough," Sasuke said, pointing his wand at the jounin, "Petrificus Totalus. If you need us, we're going to train. We need to be ready in case the snake-man comes. You're going to stay there until you calm down. Or until supper."

"Given how we fought, Zabuza will be somewhat fatigued, and he need to use medicinal salves in order to heal, as, intelligent as they are, the Swordsmen of Kiri were not the type to prevent scars from forming," Zorro remarked, "It will be a day at least before he recovers full strength."

"Don't worry about teaching us, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said with a grin, "I've just memorized your instructions on Water and Tree Walking, and so that's what we'll start with."

* * *

After Sasuke and Sakura left, Zorro, who Kakashi was starting to have to remind himself was really Naruto, created three shadow clones and placed Kakashi on a bed before heading out.

When the trio returned and Sasuke unbound Kakashi in time for dinner, the jounin found himself strangely without anger. Perhaps it was because of the nap he'd taken, or maybe it was the moment of peace that he hadn't had ever since he took them on as a team, but he found himself feeling better than he had in some time.

As a result, he was enjoying himself at dinner despite the young boy glaring at both him and his students. The slowly-heating kettle that was the boy's temper finally boiled over when Sasuke said that they'd progressed well with Tree Walking and were going to train in Water Walking the next day.

"Why do you guys bother to try so hard?" the boy shouted, looking at the team seated at the table, "No matter how hard you train, you're still no match for Gato's men! No matter what glorious claims you make or how hard you work, the weak will only end up getting killed! None of you understand what it's like here."

Every last member of Team Seven stiffened, each silently recalling their own misfortunes. Kakashi had put down his book. Sasuke had started staring at the boy. Zorro sat completely still. Sakura, meanwhile, began to chuckle darkly.

"You think we will fall?" she said, a flaming aura forming around her as she began to radiate Killing Intent, "Sasuke can perform miracles with a wave of a wand, Kakashi has a library of ways to kill armies in his head, and Zorro is an army of swordsmen in and of himself. Finishing my list of the powerful members of this team is me. If I so desired, little boy, I, the Dark Phoenix could burn this little village to the ground and sink the island to the bottom of the sea with just a thought. We will defeat this Gato, and when we do, the Phoenix shall decide whether or not to show mercy to your pitiful island."

"Aguamenti," Sasuke said calmly, blasting Sakura in the face with water, causing her to sputter and spit as her flaming aura dispersed and the Killing Intent vanished.

"Was that really necessary, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked trying to play the innocent victim.

"You were about to go Dark Phoenix on us," Sasuke replied as she used the edge of Zorro's cape to dry off her face. Fortunately, the tension eased at the moment.

Trying to bring a jovial mood back to the table, Zorro said, "Do you both remember Copycat Kakashi's reaction to when I had accidentally strapped Tora to his head the second time we went to capture the poor creature?"

"Of course I do," Sasuke said, "If I recall correctly, his words were 'Oh no! Not again!'"

"Actually," Sakura remarked as Kakashi slid down his seat to avoid embarrassment, "what he said was, 'Eek! Not again! Not in the face, not in the face!'"

The entire table, save Kakashi were very amused by the story, with even Inari cracking a smile. Kakashi, meanwhile, was reading his book again as his genin team continued with anecdotes of the horrors that had already visited him. He was certain that the next day would be less eventful and nothing terrible could happen to him that hadn't already happened.


	11. Chapter 11

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 11

I don't own Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto, X-Men, owned by Marvel Comics, Zorro from public domain, despite Zorro Production Inc.'s laughable attempts to claim otherwise, or Harry Potter, owned by J.K Rowling. Sorry this chapter is a bit late. Something worth noting is that, in this world, Naruto Uzumaki is not registered as an active-duty ninja, but Zorro is registered as one. Also, I chose Haku's gender for the sake of comedy. Fun fact: Jean Grey was originally called Marvel Girl before the first of many, many deaths.

Late in the evening, Zorro turned to Kakashi and said, "Copycat Kakashi, I will be stepping out this evening. Do not concern yourself with the matter. I will later return and will be rested before the mission needs to be continued. I merely need to have some time to myself."

Not wanting to deal with whatever his student's insanity was currently be fueled by, Kakashi simply nodded. At the very least, he wouldn't need to deal with one of them for a short period of time.

Stepping outside of the house, Zorro walked to an obscured area and removed his uniform, once more becoming Naruto Uzumaki. Once he was certain that all traces of Zorro were perfectly hidden, he headed out into the woods, planning on exploring for a bit. After a few hours, he found himself feeling somewhat tired. Deciding to rest for a little while, he leaned up against a tree and closed his eyes.

Some time later, he was awakened by the sound of someone approaching. Opening his eyes, he saw a person in a pink kimono picking herbs.

"Hello," he said, confused by the entire situation, "What brings you out here?"

"I'm picking herbs for medicinal purposes," they responded.

"Could you use some help?" Naruto asked, "I have nothing that requires my attention at the moment. My name is Naruto, by the way."

"Yes, if you wish to," they concurred, "And my name's Haku."

With that, Naruto headed over to his new friend and asked, "How many do you need?"

"Not much, as I've already gathered a large amount," Haku responded, before noticing the blond's hitai ate, "Are you a ninja?"

"Sort of," he answered in a way that was technically honest, "I'm not really listed as active duty. I'm mostly here for the sake of my friends."

"When a person has something important they want to protect; that's when they become truly strong," Haku remarked as they both continued gathering the herbs.

"Precisely," Naruto nodded in agreement as his mind once again drifted to the familiar black mask and hat he left hidden near Tornado, "It's always the moment that one is willing to give all they can to make sure that the ones they care about survive that they can do what should be impossible."

"I think that we've managed to get a good amount," Haku remarked, noticing the basket, "I suppose this is farewell, Naruto-san."

"Farewell, Haku," Naruto responded.

"By the way," Haku said while leaving, "I'm a boy."

"Okay," Naruto remarked as he turned the other way, "I already have a beloved, and your gender was pretty obvious."

"What?" Haku asked flatly.

"Well, you have a masculine jawline, you speak in a lower register than the average female, and you aren't very feminine other than the kimono," he lied, watching for a response to his statements. When Haku turned around with an annoyed expression, Naruto smirked and said, "I thought so. Sorry about annoying you. I just wanted to test a theory. Well, I should probably check on my friends, now. Even if it's not officially my mission, a ninja's work is never done."

'And neither is Zorro's,' he thought as he headed off.

As her new friend left the area, Haku was somewhat glad to hear that he wasn't officially their reinforcements. It was possible that her friend wouldn't even be involved in the fight that was going to happen on the bridge, so she might not have to kill him.

* * *

When Zorro returned to the house, Sakura and Sasuke were awake. Establishing the way the conversation would be held, Sakura's mental voice asked, "Did you notice anything?"

'I found nothing about Gato,' the swordsman admitted, 'But I discovered that Zabuza is on the mend.'

'How do you know?' Sasuke asked from the connection Sakura made.

'As I was coming back, I felt fatigued, so I rested for a while,' he said, 'When I woke up, someone was picking herbs. I helped them for a while, mostly to get a good look at their choices. The plants she used were commonly used to treats cuts and scrapes, and she was gathering lemongrass as well, which is a preservative.'

'It could just be that they were making a common salve for their relatives,' Sasuke noted, 'What makes you so sure that they're working for Zabuza?'

'She noticed your hitai ate,' Sakura remarked, 'There haven't been any shinobi here since Uzushiogakure was destroyed, and if her appearance is to be believed, she's not much older than we are.'

'Where is Copycat Kakashi?' Zorro asked, 'He was awake when I left the house.'

'He's. . . occupied,' Sakura responded, 'You'll understand in the morning.'

'Is he alive?' Zorro asked.

'Do you really think that Sasuke-kun would let me kill him?' Sakura asked, 'Besides, I haven't become the Dark Phoenix since the debacle that happened during dinner.'

'Is whatever she did potentially fatal, Sasuke?' Zorro inquired, turning to face his wizard teammate, who was tying a letter to an owl.

'Not unless he's impossibly clumsy,' Sasuke responded.

'Ah, well then, why do we not just go slumber for the time being?' Zorro said, 'There is nothing that we stand to gain from being fatigued tomorrow. As such, I bid you both goodnight.'

Elsewhere, Kakashi slept, unaware of the impossible misfortunes that had been set to happen to him when he woke up.


	12. Chapter 12

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 12

None of the intellectual properties utilized in this fanfic belong to me. Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, J K Rowling owns Harry Potter, Stan Lee created the X-Men, who are owned by Marvel, and Zorro was created by Johnston McCulley and is legally in the Public Domain, despite Zorro Production Inc. claiming otherwise. Other than that, there's not much else to say except that this chapter will begin with a Sai interlude, the results of which will be seen in the next chapter, as will the contents of Sasuke's letter. Fun Fact: In the classic stories and the Disney series, Bernardo would occasionally provide an alibi for Don Diego by dressing as Zorro when Diego was being detained.

Sai was very concerned. The clone that Naruto had used to keep his identity secret had been damaged and Sai had no way of making a duplicate that would resemble his boss. This was not good, as that meant that someone could figure out that he was Zorro by piecing together the fact that one was out on a mission and the other wasn't able to be found. How could Sai fix the matter and keep his boss' identity a secret?

Suddenly, a burst of inspiration took hold of the mute artist/valet. Rushing to Naruto's room, Sai quickly enacted his plan. Spiking his hair up, he quickly donned one of the blond's orange outfits. If the people needed to see Naruto Uzumaki, he would show them a Naruto Uzumaki.

* * *

Kakashi woke up in an interesting situation when he woke up at three in the morning. He was fairly certain, after all, that he hadn't been tied to a bed floating down a waterfall. As he broke his bonds and leapt to safety, he was treated to the sound of the bed being destroyed by the sharpened rocks below. He was glad that he had managed to escape, as there was no way that there could have been more to it.

It was therefore shocking to him when he noticed the giant x underneath his feet. How the beehive had been catapulted hard enough to break against his chest, he would never know, as his mind was more occupied with the bees that were attempting to sting him. Using Chidori to make the bees fly to their death, he was certain that the worst was behind him. Were it any other universe he would be right. With the bees gone, he'd felt safe enough to try to find his way back to the village, and he'd been rather close, with no incident coming his way. The loud growls he could hear behind him told him his trouble were far from over.

* * *

When he returned to the house at the crack of dawn, rather painfully injured, he quietly woke the client to get him ready to go, certain that he could sneak out and not deal with the monsters. To his misfortune, Sasuke was awake as he said, "Do I wake the others, Professor Kakashi?"

"No," Kakashi said, thinking quickly, "We need someone to guard the client's family. You and I will go with Tazuna."

"Yes sir," Sasuke responded. Inwardly, Kakashi smiled. At least Sasuke was marginally sane. Noticing a light mist ahead of them, Kakashi pushed the client behind him, realizing that Zabuza was going to make his move.

* * *

When Zorro entered the hallway, he noticed that Sakura was strangely silent as she floated towards the living room. Following her cue, he stepped silently before Sakura turned and mentally said, "Two mercenaries that work for Gato are currently trying to kidnap Tsunami and the kid, but the boy tried to save his mom. I think those men need a lesson in good manners."

Uncoiling his whip, Zorro grinned. This was the perfect way to start a morning. Charging into the room, he struck the two men in the eyes while Sakura launched a pair of small fireballs at the two blinded men.

Once they were freed from their bonds, Inari remarked, "You two took a long time to get here."

"Don't you know?" Sakura smirked before Zorro interrupted.

"Heroes always arrive in the nick of time," he grinned, handing the boy a small knife, " Search for a safe house for you both to stay in and do not leave there until we arrive to bring you home."

With that, the pair left, preparing for the next battle.

* * *

With Kakashi and Sasuke, things were going fairly well. While Kakashi was managing to fight Zabuza fairly well despite his many injuries from the events he would never recount until his dying day, the fake hunter nin had managed to trap the self-proclaimed wizard in a dome of ice, where the fake hunter nin was able to move quickly to evade any spell being cast. Fortunately, Sasuke had access to an Invisibility Cloak, however, which gave him the edge that he needed to keep from being hit by the senbon. As both of the people in the dome started to get tired, Sasuke was pleased to see a flash of red and orange steadily growing larger outside the dome. As he threw himself to the ground, Invisibility Cloak still hiding him as the ice dome dissipated into a steam that surprisingly didn't scald either of the combatants.

The next thing Haku knew, she was having to dodge a bola thrown by the masked swordsman, who leapt off of his black horse. Throwing a senbon at him, she was shocked to see him duck down and throw a knife that he pulled out of his left boot, stopping the senbon as it flew towards her. Haku immediately dodged, only to have to quickly put up an ice shield to block a blast of fire. Using her bloodline, Haku then created several small blades to lash out at her opponent, all thoughts of holding back gone in favor of the need to survive this fight. As she leapt out of the way of a red beam of light fired by the stick the boy in the cloak was wielding, she felt her mask crack slightly as the swordsman struck with his bullwhip, breaking Haku's concentration.

Noticing his tool/daughter figure was in dire straits, Zabuza knocked Kakashi aside with the flat of his blade. He was immediately greeted by a strangely cheerful Zorro, who said, "Ah, you look well for a man who died. Are you feeling well?"

Zabuza didn't respond to the younger swordsman, determined to get his assistant out of her current predicament. To his surprise, the pink haired girl, who'd been inspecting Haku throughout the battle put herself between the two orphans, holding her hands up as she said, "If we're done here, I think we've got something more important to deal with."

"You're not much of a demon, Zabuza," Gato said derisively, causing the adult swordsman and the jounin instructor who had planned on intervening if things started to go badly for his talented students to turn and see the businessman and his army of mercenaries, "I suppose I can have my men kill you now rather than wait for one of you to kill the other."

"A test of skill?" Zorro smirked, turning to face Zabuza as he created several shadow clones.

"We could've used kids like you back in Kiri," Zabuza nodded, "Gato's mine, though."

"Of course," the younger smirked, replacing his bullwhip as he drew his rapier, "Shall we?"

"It would probably be best," Haku said, preparing to throw several senbon and create a shield whenever necessary.

To everyone's surprise, rather than have them waste energy, Sakura struck at the men in the front with two streams of flame as she flew past them, causing them to leap away and form an easy path for Zabuza to reach Gato.

"Or Sakura could do that," Sasuke noted dryly as Zabuza charged at his panicked target.

With Gato fallen, his mercenaries seemed to not know how to react until one shouted, "Hey, that was the guy who paid us! What are we supposed to do now?"

"Let's raid the village!" one of the men called out, seeming to have forgotten the dangerous people between the group and the village. This statement was met with a crossbow bolt landing in front of the army. Turning to see what the commotion was, the group of shinobi were shocked to se the villagers of Wave standing there, all armed, as Inari cocked his crossbow.

"Go away," the boy said, aiming his weapon at one of the mercenaries.

With that, the army disbanded, returning to their boats as they fled as quickly as possible. Smirking at Inari, Zorro remarked, "You took quite a bit of time to arrive."

"Don't you know," the boy smiled, "Heroes always arrive in the nick of time."

"Truer words have never been said," the swordsman grinned, patting the boy on the head. Heading off, the boy greeted the older swordsman, who was fussing over his still-masked companion, "Hello again, Zabuza Momochi. Where will your quest take you next?"

"Not sure yet," Zabuza admitted, "This job was going to bring us even closer to the funding we needed, but now. . ."

"Why not go to Konoha?" he asked, "I have never faced as skilled an opponent with weapons as either of you, and I believe that you could do well there."

"I'd rather reclaim my home," Zabuza replied, before casting a glance at his protege, "But I suppose that could wait. Haku here could do well with a stable environment. Just give me some time to think about it."

Giving a whistle that could be heard from a great distance, Zorro smiled and said, "Very well, Zabuza Momochi and Haku. I hope that you will be able to find the stability she needs either way."

As the pair were struck dumb by the fact that Zorro knew Haku's gender, the young swordsman leapt onto Tornado and rode off, only pausing in front of a setting sun as Tornado kicked his front legs off the ground and Zorro thrust his sword into the air before riding off into said sunset.


	13. Chapter 13

The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 13

I do not own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), X-Men (Marvel Comics and 20th Century Fox), Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros. and the Warner Sister, Dot), or Zorro (Public Domain as of 1995). The next chapter will have more insanity as Zabuza and Haku try to get used to life in Konoha and deal with Tenten. Fun Fact: Zorro's current costume is actually more recent than the character, having been changed to match the costume Douglas Fairbanks Senior wore in the 1920 film The Mark of Zorro, one year after The Curse of Capistrano came out. Johnston McCulley loved the film so much he changed the character's appearance.

The bridge had finally been built, and so the time came for Team Seven to take their leave of Wave. As such, Zorro decided to make the same offer he made to Zabuza and Haku one last time before they left.

"I shall return in a moment," he proclaimed to his teammates, "I wish to discuss something important before we leave. You may proceed homeward, as Tornado and I can quickly return to you."

With that said, he rode into the area where the pair of missing nin had made their base. Upon reaching their hideaway, Zorro leapt off of Tornado and said, "Zabuza, Haku, my team is leaving today. I have come to ask whether you two will be joining us. If not, then we must part ways."

"We'll go with you," Zabuza said, his sword and gear already packed while Haku carried the white rabbit, her fake hunter nin mask still on her face despite the diagonal crack that bisected the red swirl.

"That is good to hear," Zorro smiled, "I shall have a friend of mine arrange for a place for you to live. I believe that you know him, Haku."

"You know Naruto?" she asked, though she chastised herself upon remembering that the blond in question had mentioned looking in on his friends, "Where has he gone?"

"He was guarding our client's family and left once that was no longer necessary," Zorro responded half-truthfully, leaping onto Tornado with a practiced ease, "Now, let us be off. Konoha beckons! Tornado, vamos!"

With that, Zorro rode off at breakneck speed to catch up with his teammates while being followed by the two missing nin who were trailing behind by a few yards. As he continued, Zorro couldn't help but wonder how the Naruto duplicate and Sai were doing.

* * *

'Excellent,' Sai thought, 'No one except His Lady Hinata and the Hokage has seen through my ruse. They believe that I am Naruto Uzumaki with a sore throat. My decision to prank those who treated 'Naruto Uzumaki' poorly was a successful one.'

The villagers did in fact believe the ruse, and Danzo specifically was getting concerned, as Sai hadn't come in to report recently, a concern that was the result of the events that had recently transpired. Naruto Uzumaki's sore throat had apparently made him more volatile, as his pranks had escalated since he lost his voice. the last store to overcharge him had burned to the ground despite the best efforts of the Anbu, and the less said about what happened when the boy was kept from a meeting with the Hokage, the better.

On the bright side, Naruto would never be over-charged again.

* * *

As Team Seven returned to the village, Sai headed home to change back into his usual outfit and give his long-overdue false report on Naruto Uzumaki to Danzo while the other teams waited to greet the amusingly odd team.

As he entered the village, following the group, Zabuza felt an odd sort of terror when his eyes fell upon a strangely familiar looking bun-haired girl who was giving the Kubikiri Houcho a covetous look. The drool slowly dribbling down her chin and the maniacal grin on her face led to him deciding to never let his precious sword out of his sight ever again. He'd shared a bed with the infamous sword while on the road despite Haku's protests and claims that it could one day kill him, and now he was apparently not going to be able to get out of that practice, if that girl was any indication.

"Ah, Team Seven," Hiruzen Sarutobi said as they entered his office, "I trust your mission went well."

"It did Headmaster," Sasuke said, "Zorro even managed to recruit some ninjas."

"Indeed, Professor," Sakura stated, "Haku Yuki and Zabuza Momochi have come to join your shinobi forces. They have no ill intent towards the village that I can pick up with a psychic scan, however."

Hiruzen took that a good sign, and said, "Very well. You're going to have to go through the process of becoming citizens Tomorrow, you'll both have to come back here to fill out a massive amount of paperwork. Do you have any plans on where you'll be staying?"

"Zorro said that he would talk to Naruto Uzumaki about finding us a place to live," Haku responded.

"Very good," the Sandaime smiled, "If that's all, then you are all dismissed. Oh, and Zorro, you might want to talk to Naruto about his pranks."

With that, the group left the room, with Sakura bursting into flames, Sasuke mounting his broom, and Zorro leaping onto Tornado.

"Are they always like this?" Zabuza asked, confused by the trio.

"No, actually," Kakashi replied casually, not looking up from his precious book, "They're much, much worse usually. They're probably trying to lull you into a false sense of security. Still, I personally wouldn't worry, because they're couldn't possibly do anything worse to me than what they've already done, though you should probably be worried."

As Kakashi walked away, unwittingly heading towards a purple haired kunoichi in a tan trenchcoat, Zabuza made up his mind. He was going to keep the Kubikiri Houcho with him at all times for both the sake of keeping it safe and protecting himself from the apparent psychopaths.

* * *

Meanwhile, where the other genin were standing, Zorro suddenly rode in and lifted Hinata off the ground and onto Tornado. Upon placing her in front of him, Zorro rode in front of the sunset on the horizon and raised his sword in the air while Tornado kicked his front legs up before racing off towards the park.

Having nothing better to do, the group disbanded, leaving Tenten standing alone, still smiling as she once more fell into her childhood dream of possessing not only the Kubikiri Houcho, but the other six of the Seven Swords as well. Her first order of business, however, would be getting to the sword that was within her grasp. Zabuza Momochi had to sleep sometime. . .


End file.
